Your inbox has un-deleted spam emails dating back to 2002.
You’re administratively challenged.
You need to look up what day of the week it is. Sometimes what year.
If you meet new people and say you’re a writer, they give the old penny-drop, ‘Ooohhhhh, okaaay,’ (with an obvious internal monologue: ‘So that’s why. Makes total sense’).
You leave the house with coffee spilled down your shirt at least once a week.
During arguments, your partner asks whether you’ve done any writing today – akin to the old ‘do you have your period or something?’
Mismatched socks are the norm.
Your laptop screen and keyboard have never once been cleaned (unless you have a partner with OCD).
You can’t look at anything or anyone without making some kind of mental observation about it.
Your washing machine has needed a service for at least a year. God help you if you don’t own a dishwasher.
You occasionally leave the house with yellow post-it notes stuck to the soles of your shoes, saying things like, ‘character reversal’ and ‘meeting with the mentor’).
You’re guilty of at least five of the above.